We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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