Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
