She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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