He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize