I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
