I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
