Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
