Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
