I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
he had hair everywhere except his balls
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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