Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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