Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
