I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I use my feet as sexual weapons
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
