Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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