apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
