Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize