What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
