She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
