I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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