Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
