my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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