More tranny stories later!
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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