Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
