ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
