So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
