I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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