Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
