we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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