Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
