Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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