I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
