I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
