STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
