ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
you never un-have a 4some
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
