Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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