I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
