im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just found a bag of teeth...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
