Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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