Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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