Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
There's even glitter on my cock...
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