its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
