I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
