am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
