chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Can I color on your dick again?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
