my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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