...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
