I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
