I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you win again, gameday.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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