ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
