new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
