nut hugger
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize