So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
