even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
