i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
