i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
