If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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