3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
