I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So many bounce houses so little time
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
