i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Success! We fucked roommates!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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