i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
